Let Your Child Exercise Their Wings:

The True Purpose of Sport

 

Jim Bell, PhDc

There is a simple truth that we parents, teachers, and coaches need to be reminded of from time to time -- whether your child develops a great backhand is immaterial to whether your child develops great character.

Often times, this simple wisdom often gets lost in our ambitions. The details of striving for achievement sometimes blinds us to the greater good. The battle to make our children the very best can at times result in nearly the opposite.

Focus for a moment on the true purpose of sports. Participating in sports may be the only way a child receives critically needed exercise and may be the only way a child is challenged enough to develop emotionally. Participating in sports, in conjunction with adult supervision, may be the best way to properly guide the child to develop a life of virtue and character.

The only way that it has ever been demonstrated to develop character has been the honest, dedicated, hard working perseverance to overcome adversity. Our affluent society has eradicated much of the adversity in our lives. Our children need to struggle against adversity in order to achieve their full potential. You are not doing your child or our nations future any service with the misplaced affection of coddling them.

There is an old story about the role of overcoming adversity that you must keep uppermost in your mind when it comes to your childs character development:

A young child is walking through the woods and comes upon a bird egg that had fallen out of its nest and landed intact on the soft, mossy ground. The young child stoops down to look closer at the egg and is surprised to hear a chip-chip-chip sound, the young bird trying to chip its way out of the egg. The child is fascinated and remains rooted to the spot waiting for the bird to emerge.

Unfortunately, as time goes on the chipping gets weaker and less frequent as the rest periods get longer and longer. The child fears the bird isnt strong enough to get out and is worried the bird could die inside the egg. Besides, the poor bird has worked so hard for so long, the child feels it necessary to help. With only good intention and affection for this bird the child picks up the egg, gently cracks it open and deposits the bird on some soft moss. The child takes the bird home, feeds it, cares for it and the bird grows.

However, as time goes by the child is concerned because the bird wont fly. After consulting a veterinarian, the child learns the consequences of helping a bird out of its egg. The child learns that the struggle the bird goes through to get out of its egg is actually exercise that is essential in order for the bird to develop the muscular strength it will need to fly. Without that struggle, the bird wont fly.

Your goals for your children should be the same. Dont allow your affection and compassion to rob them of the struggle to get out of the egg. Let them exercise their wings. You should want them to develop such virtue and character that they soar with eagles.

Never loose sight of the fact that character development is the paramount concern in your childs athletic endeavors. Never scream, yell, criticize or mentally and/or physically abuse your childs athletic ability because they fail to meet your personal ambition. Never buy into the winning is the only thing mentality because that ideal was never meant for children.

How you play the game is the only way for your child to develop virtue and character. Never allow your children to lie, cheat, or exhibit any unsportsmanlike behavior. Encourage your children regardless of their abilities. Forbid temper tantrums and pouting. Never allow your child to cheat with bad calls, slam their racquets or use foul language. This type of behavior isnt cute, precocious or competitive, but it is habit forming. This type of behavior is contrary to the character we are striving to develop.

The true purpose of sport is to develop character. Character leads to maximizing self-development. Self-development leads your child to take flight. Learning to fly is leading your child to joy.

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